Hey dudes remember me?

After taking a break for a few months I felt that now was the right time for my huge Elvis style comeback to the blogging world. So look for more posts about early 90's cartoon's political blogs, and whatever the hell other stuff I can think of. Now here is a video of a 3 year old talking about Star wars.

What if James Dean did not die young?

Okay so this commercial for Allan Gray Investments tells us that if James Dean lived he would direct a bad movie, be at a lame award show, and meet poor kids in Africa. Not sure what this has to do with Allan Gray Investments. This more reminds of a old issue of Marvel's What If? comic.

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins 5

Madballs based on the fondly remembered toy line of the mid 80's. Amazingly this series lasted 10 issues and almost 2 years. This issue introduced villains for the titular heroes, these villainous balls are all made from a bowling ball base. By the end of the story they are transformed back to bowling balls. In the second story in the issue,the Madballs and the 2 kids they hang out with,see a flying saucer. Turns out this UFO is powered by a secret substance. And this substance just happens to be the drool from one of the Madballs. Overall this is quick read,and if I was 5-8 years old I'm sure I am sure i would love it. But being 35 now I enjoy it mainly cause the premise is so bat shit crazy.

Doc Bottoms Aspray AllOver Body Deodorant Commercial

Okay here we have a wacky commercial that is trying to be the next Sham-wow internet sensation. Sham-wow was kind of borderline parody(like we sort of can tell that Vince knew he was being wacky but we were not 100 percent sure). This ad on the other hand is just begging for people on the Internets to talk about it and post it. And I guess it worked with me~!

What is wrong with Japan?

I read in the NYTimes today about a wacky new fad in Japan, Going out with pillow's with anime characters on them.... or as the Times said "Nisan is part of a thriving subculture of men and women in Japan who indulge in real relationships with imaginary characters. These 2-D lovers, as they are called, are a subset of otaku culture— the obsessive fandom that has surrounded anime, manga and video games in Japan in the last decade."

Japan used to be to a feared world power and now men in Japan are making love to pillows. But yet we have another sad twist to this story.

"Okayama was an early adopter of 2-D. He discovered anime about two decades ago when he was new to the work force and feeling suicidal. “I was having a lot of trouble,” he told me over coffee, making a slicing gesture with his hand by his neck. That’s when he encountered Sasami, ablue-haired, 10-year-old cartoon character from the anime “TenchiMuyo!”"

Yes not only is this guy hooking up with a anime pillow, he is hooking up with a ten year old anime pillow. Plus that is such a ripoff of the movie Garden State. Just replace Natalie Portman with Sasami, a blue-haired, 10-year-old cartoon character from the anime “TenchiMuyo and it is the same thing.

If you want to read the rest of this sickness you can here

Patrick Duffy is a man of many talents

When doing reserch on Step by Step I cam across this video of the Duffy singing his pop hit (He has a hit in Europe)

Step By Step Part 1

In the history of the now world famous Friday sitcom block TGIF there have been huge hits that have characters who have since become pop culture icons, and much like I have posted about before on this blog there have been full-fledged flops on TGIF but there is only one TGIF show that seemed to last forever without being special or liked in anyway and that show was Step By Step.

The show stared Patrick ( Dallas in the shower)Duffy and Suzanne (Three's Company) Summers in their second most well known TV show's respectively. Duffy had just finished with Dallas And Summers was just a year or two out of doing the world famous show She's the Sheriff, when they got together to make television mediocrity. The show also stared Staci Keanan who like her TV parents was more well known for another sitcom (My Two Dad's) than this one.

Step By Step was sort of a 1990's version of the Brady Bunch the set up was this dude named Frank Lambert (Duffy), a divorced guy that liked belt buckles who had three children from a previous marriage (Yet they were all alone), Married Carol Foster (Suzanne Somers), who has three children of her own (The youngest one not in curls). The show usually was in between more successful TGIF shows and it lasted for seven whole seasons even though I don't think there was ever a time in America where someone said "Oh shit I need to get home Step by Step is on!!!!

In Part 2 I think I will talk about the rest of the people in the show. For now just look at the opening sequence. (Check out that CGI Ocean)

RIP Les Lye

Actor Les Lye died on Tuesday at the age of 84. People in the age group most likely to read this site will remember him as the man who played all the male adult roles and the very popular 1980's Nickelodeon show You Can't Do That on Television. I liked the show's snarky dark edge and I still like to think the show is what living in Canada (Where the show was made) in the 1980's was like.

The most notable legacy of the show is the recurring bit they made where a character would say "I don't know" and then have some slime from the heavens fall on the poor suckers head (Maybe God hates indecision) Nickelodeon has used that gimmick for years separate from the show.

Here are some clips from the show

I love the hip dialogue in the Spider-Man comic strip. Do weather girls even exist anymore?

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins 4

Ahhh the WWF comic series from Valiant. Not a well known series,sorta like the Marvel WCW comic,but it is still collected somewhat. I got this one at the late lamented Lynn's comics in Port Arthur TX. Was close friends with the owner and got it for free. Now onto the review. First story is Every man has his price starring The Million Dollar Man and Virgil. Story by Laura Hitchcock and Art by David Lapham and Don Perlin. Starts off with a tabloid style TV show interviewing the MDM's former personal accountant. The accountant is mad and has a tape he secretly made during his last visit to the MDM's estate. Here we see Virgil working out with Dibiase's 24 karot gold weights. Ted enters the gym and gets mad at Virgil for using his equipment and throws one of the weights at him. This starts off a brawl that goes all thru the mansion and last about 7 pages before Ted ends up in his very Uncle Scroogeish Money bin.Virgil and Ted's dog enter the money bin. Were the fight continues for at least 4 more pages. The story ends with the accountant getting a package while still at the tabloid show. Turns out Ted has sent him a huge check,so the accountant says that he doctored the videotape and was lying the whole time.

Second story is Pain or peace. Written by Jim Shooter art by Steve Ditko. First thing i must admit is I am a huge Ditko fan. And will buy almost anything with his name on it. So when i found out he did a story in this title I was majorly hyped. This story is about Undertaker and Paul Bearer have just moved into a new home. And Big Bossman is conducting some off the books surveillance on them. One of the neighbors is going to welcome Taker and Paul to the neighborhood. So Bossman using the bugs he has previously planted in the house listens in. All kind of wacky hi jinx happen. Most of them are of the "Oh no Undertaker is gonna kill the poor neighbor!" But it turns out he is just working on a tombstone or cutting her some cheese. Finally Big Bossman has had enough and he storms into the house. They have a huge brawl that last about 3 pages. And in the end they bust threw a door and Bossman discovers that Undertaker is having a funeral in his house. Bossman is all kinds of flustered and leaves in a huff. Overall neither story is anything amazing ,but this comic is saved by the great Ditko artwork on the second story.

The forgotten TGIF shows part 2

Getting By: this show was about two families that bought the same house by mistake and then they live together anyway WTF. It starred Cindy Williams from Laverne and Shirley and Thelma Hopkins who was Rachel on Family Matters. (she left Family Matters without even being written off the show and when Getting By was canceled she went back to Family Matters) Unlike most shows on this list Getting By had a full 31 episodes to spread it's art.



Baby Talk: This show was "loosely based" on the Look who's talking movies. On the show the baby (who's thoughts we can hear) is voiced by Tony Danza and the person who played the mother changed like 7 times. The only other notable think about this show is that Scott Baio was on it at some point



On our own: Started about the same time that Party at five premiered this was also about a group of kid's/young adults who's parents just sort of died (I guess there was a "orphan " trend going on at the time. What i remember from this show is the teenagers giving the little kids bologna and mustard for lunch in the opening minutes of the first episode.

Sarah Palin resigns as Alaska Governor! puts out bad memo!

So Sarah Palin just resigned from the governorship of Alaska. Here is part of the memo her office gave to the press (hat tip to TNR ).

"It is my duty to always protect our great state. With that in mind, my family and I determined that it is best to make a difference this summer, and I am willing to change things, so that this administration, with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future, can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success. "

Also

"It hurts to make this choice, but I've given my reasons. I'm reminded of a sign on my parents' refrigerator, 'Don't explain; your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you anyway.'"

Huh?

2003 TMNTs to meet 1987 TMNT..... huh?

So I was reading the Internets the other day and I found out that for the 25th anniversary of TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles like I needed to type that) a crossover show will happen featuring the the four turtles of the modern series meeting the same four turtles from the 1987 original series cast.

WTF? Will the 1987 Turtles have bad 80's cartoon animation? The one Turtles personality that is different on both shows Is Raphael who in the 1987 cartoon instead of being the loose cannon of the group is kind of like Chandler Bing as a Ninja Turtle. I bet loose cannon Raphael will kick his ass.

The only question is when will both teams meet up with the "coming out of our shells" rock band era TMNT?

Wonder Women

You know if you look at 1940's Wonder Women Comics without reading the text it always looks like some kinky lesbian porn is about to start on the next page. Wonder Women was created by William Moulton Marston, a psychologist (Seeing that most other classic hero's were created by some working class 20-something Jewish guy just trying to make a living this is a bit of a outlier),Mr Marston seemed to have a particular and creepily interest in women being tied up as you can see here

Marston is also known for being the creator of a kind of blood-pressure test that has been used as to make the modern-day polygraph. He also though that women were more honest than men.

He also once said "The only hope for peace is to teach people who are full of pep and unbound force to enjoy being bound ... Only when the control of self by others is more pleasant than the unbound assertion of self in human relationships can we hope for a stable, peaceful human society. ... Giving to others, being controlled by them, submitting to other people cannot possibly be enjoyable without a strong erotic element"
Yeah Creepy......

RIP Billy Mays

It seems now that celebrity deaths come in five now. When I saw Billy on Conan a few weeks ago I was kind of disappointed that he was talking like a normal human being and all. I prefer to think of him as some sort of windup robot who when you start him up just yells "Hi Billy Mays here!"

The forgotten TGIF shows

Most people within the 20 to 30something age group grew up with the Friday night ABC sitcom block TGIF. Everybody knows (and makes the appropriate kind of ironic humor about) the famous TGIF shows like Full House, Family Matters, Boy Meets World, and most people also know of TGIF shows that were on a while but did not make that much of a pop culture impression (Im looking at you Step by Step). There were also shows that just lasted a few months and then were never talked about again. This will be the first in a series of blogposts about the forgotten TGIF shows!!! (Cue dramatic music)

1.

Going Places: This show that lasted from September 1990 till July 1991 Wikipedia says "The show's original premise was that four young writers, Chicago ad man Charlie Davis (Alan Ruck), his brother Jack (Jerry Levine), California native Alex Burton (Heather Locklear), and New Yorker Kate Griffin (Hallie Todd) were the writing staff of Here's Looking at You, a Candid Camera-type program featuring real people caught in their unawares. ". But all I remember from the show is that it was about grown up's doing boring grown up things and all I wanted from TGIF was to see shows with kids. (or in one case on Perfect Strangers a man-child).

I remember at one point they had the kid who later played Mark (the nerd kid) on Step by Step on the show(also playing the role of the nerd kid. I imagine that after Urkel nerd kid's were in high demand and ABC was just waiting for the right show to put this nerd kid on) . This show had the 9:30 timeslot after Full House, Family Matters, and Perfect Strangers. The show was canceled at the end of the season and ABC had to look for another show to bridge the gap between the family fun of the first three shows and the dark tabloid feeling of 20/20. (really I mean at 10 TGIF would end and kids everywhere would see "Tonight on 20/20 HORRIBLE MURDER RAPE DEATH!!!!!!!)

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins 4

I found this oddity at 3 alarm comics in Biloxi. Only cost a buck and reprinted 4 old pre-code horror stories. First up was the Wall of flesh by Bob Powell. In this story some mad doctor has created this Living wall of flesh,that feeds on living tissue. He plans on using it for transplants and skin grafts. Of course in the end he gets eaten by the wall. The second story is Curse of Khar by the great Joe Kubert. In this tale two english crooks hideout in a house that is owned by a man of middle eastern desent. He predicts their future using a magic star. They freak out and pull one of his eyes outta the socket and kill him. They end up being chased by the magic star and in the end they drown in a river. The third one is The repulsive dwarf by Wally Wood. In this one is about an ugly midget that is in a carnival and tried to hook up with a hottie. Of course she wants nothing to do with him and hijinks ensue. Over all this was worth what i paid for it,mainly cause the Kubert and Wood art is great. One minor drawback is even though the orignals were in color this reprints them in black and white.

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins 3

Published back in the early 90's this comic is the perfect example of WTF. The story,what little there is,goes like this. Little kid is in California with grandfather,Grandfather gives kid lucky coin. Godzilla comes busting outta the water. Everyone freaks out. Little kid runs into Charles Barkley and gives him lucky coin. This causes Barkley to grow gigantic. Barkley and Godzilla proceed to have a little game of one on one. Barkley dunks on Godzilla alot. Story ends with Barkley meeting up with Godzilla again to play more b-ball. What i wonder is does this mean that Barkley is stuck at this humongous size? And why did the lucky coin turn Barkley into a giant but didn't affect the little kid or the grandfather? I am thankful that i only paid like 10 cents for this one.

Top ten strange licensed products

9.

Home Improvement ... the Video game.

I have already written on this site about Home Improvement and the psychotic Tim the tool man Taylor (nickname fits) But after I heard about this game I have to write about him yet again. In 1994 A Home Improvement video game was released for the SNES.

The plot of the game is that Tim has to find some Binford power tools that seem to have gone missing from the set of Tool Time (most likely the fault of that dumbass Tim). Time looks for the tools and fights Mummies and Dinosaurs along the way WTF?
Yes The guy from the family sitcom fights Mummies and Dinosaurs. And to sum the game and the show up the game itself had no manual at all. It's splash screen just explains “Real men don’t need instructions.” ugg.

Looking back at the 16 bit era this game based on a sitcom is kind of a outlier (not Malcolm Gladwell), after all they never made a video game of Dannt Tanner or Al Bundy fighting Zombies.

No wrongs just right

Today I would like to talk about the popular restaurant chain Outback Steakhouse. I always wonder why the place is always so freaking crowded? People must think they are waiting a hour to eat authentic foreign Australian food (like steaks, shrimp, burgers etc) at a five star restaurant. Other chain places are sometimes crowded. But only Outback seems to be that way ALL the time. Even if they were open 24/7 I could see a person going in at 4am and still having to wait 20 minutes holding the light up coaster thing.

I still do not know why Outback of all chain restaurants that serve standard American cuisine has had this success. It has a tired "Australian" gimmick that was last seen in the 80's when America though that everyone in Australia lived in the outback and talked like Paul Hogan.

Also to help with the authentic Australian experience the butter knife they give you with your bread looks like it could kill a man. I guess in Australian people have huge knifes when they put butter on their rolls.

But the thing about Outback that puzzles me is that nobody really thinks that the food is "Australian" anyway yet that has to be the gimmick that has made it more successful that other chains. So it has kind of got a then un-tapped market in American that wants to pretend to eat Australian food. This makes them (And the Bloomin onion) American heroes.

top ten strange licensed products

10.Crash Test Dummies (Not the band that did the Mmmmmm song)

In the 1980’s and early 90’s The Crash Test Dummies was a PSA staring were Vince and larry two talking seemly alive test dummies who would tell us to buckle are safety belt. They would then get into a horrible accident and we would be told “You can learn a lot from a dummy buckle your Safety belt”.



For most PSA’s this would be the end of the story but a few years later I saw a commercial for Crash Dummies action figures.

I really want to know the inside story of how someone came up with idea of making action figures of characters invented for PSA’s .It would be like if they had toys of the drug dealer from the “Im not a chicken or a turkey” commercial.

The main gimmick the figures had was you could put them into cars and other vehicles and crash them and then the toys would have horrible injures where limbs would be flying everywhere. I always wondered if we were supposed to think that The Crash Dummies feel pain. If they don’t then what is the the point of them crashing all the time? And if they do then why should kids make them want to feel that pain? I mean they seemed like okay guys and all, I mean for dummies.

So to recap "Once their was this PSA that could'int go change with the girls in the change room and when they finally made her she became a action figure line.They couldn't quite explain the marketing logic behind that... MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Iran coverage on CNN

CNN sure likes to talk about Twitter talking about Iran. There is a guy they keep on showing on CNN who reads posts about Iran from Twitter. I wonder how many years he was in school for that. And a few hours ago CNN interviewed the women who played a evil Muslim mom on season 4 of 24. If only during the Israel/Lebanon thing back in 06 they interviewed Jamie Farr.

I was wondering what the 5 or so of you reading this would like from my blog? More strange cartoon/video game/ action figure-like lists? posts about international politics? Comic book stuff? random old fast food commercials? maybe looks into the scarcely parts of internet fandom?

Professor Xavier like's em young.

This is a panel from X-Men 4 back in 1964. After we find out that Xavier is in love with his teenage student , I guess Stan Lee and Jack Kirby figured that this storyline would not work and nothing was said about Xavier's love for Jean Grey for about 32 more years where they use it in the Onslaught storyline.

A look back at 1980's/1990's sitcoms part 1 Home Improvement

I was never really a big Home Improvement fan. For the 0 of you how have never seen the show It was about Tim Taylor and his family. Tim hosted a program called Tool Time but he was apparently so horrible at his job that he is almost killed on every episode of Tool Time. Tim also made strange growling noises when talking about man stuff like tools and sports and sometimes he would also make a confused puppy sound when he was sad or something.It is clear that Tim was a ticking timebomb who's recklessness as a TV handyman could one day get many people killed(he also needed to see a doctor about his grunting sounds) yet nobody tried to stop him.

The only way Tim could solve a problem in his life was talking to his neighbor Wilson who was the smartest man on the show. However Wilson never left his backyard and never liked to show his full face so it is clear he has issues also.Still Wilson should of been the star of the show after Tim blows up his whole family by mistake around episode 4.

The show was based on Tim Allen's comedy act that was basically like "Hey you know what Men hate? Opera! what is going on I don't understand it! But you know what men like? Football! (he then makes strange grunting sounds). Also in the late 70's Tim Allen used to sell cocaine and that makes me not a chicken but him a turkey. But being a Turkey has not stopped Tim Allen from having sitcom fame.

He also ratted out his fellow dealers to the fed's to get a light sentence after he was arrested. In my mind this makes me think of the lost potential of bringing that storyline on the show and having it turn out that Wilson is the father or brother of a dealer that Time Taylor ratted out to the fed's and he is waiting for his revenge.

John Byrne And Erik Larsen flame war 09

This just proves that Comic writers are about the same as the people who post on comic boards. For years Bryne and Larsen have feuded over something or other related to the first few years of Image Comics (and also Bryne is kind of crazy but not Dave Sim crazy) you can find their latest flame war here

I do not really get the point of twitter (meaning as far as any online social network has a point) I have one but I tend to not use it as much as I use Facebook. At least with Facebook when you write something people can write to your comment right below your post. On Twitter your wacky one line comment just sit’s there being lonely. There has been about three times in the last few months when somebody has asked what exactly twitter is. And I could say to explain is that it is like facebook with just the status updates. But the one good thing about Twitter is Shaq’s Twitter( http://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ) that I approve of greatly.

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins 2

Ah Topps Comics,yes famous makers of all kinds of sports and non-sports cards actually tried their hands at publishing comics back in the early to late 90's.Most of their stuff was movie or TV adaptations,but one of the few original lines they put out was the so called "Kirbyverse". These are some of the last ideas put to paper by the late Jack Kirby. Bombast is my favorite of this line. He is a superhero with one of the lamest powers ever. He has super throwing power,which means he can throw anything really fast,really long and really accurate. And besides having a lamer power than Cypher he is also the only superhero i know of that had a crackhead for a sidekick. So between fighting off DTs the sidekick would help Bombast fight some of the weirdest villains ever. One of them Cal Cutta wears this purple armor with a reel to reel player on the chest. Think about that for a few minutes,a FUCKING REEL TO REEL PLAYER. What is the use in that? Sadly the Kirbyverse was basically still born,so there is only a few adventures of Bombast and his loyal crackhead sidekick.

You know the Spider-Man comic strip has always been kind of strange to me. The strip reads like a bad 1960's Marvel book. It says that Stan Lee writes the comic but who knows if it is handed off to a ghostwriter or something (I think I heard Stans brother Larry Lieber may write it). The comic strip usually consists of Peter Parker yelling at the TV and boring storylines that last for month's . The current storyline guest stars Wolverine but something is very very wrong with it.

Spider-Man is talking about how Wolverine "hates city's" I have been reading X-Men comics for a long time and I do not remember this. And Spider-Man is all acting like this is Wolvie's main personality trait or something.Also Is Spider-Man saying that rich Westchester county is not a part of "Civilization"?, What a NYC snob Spidey is.

(BTW it seems I lose two panels when this get's posted so click on it to read the whole thing)

How to be a manly man who cooks in the 1920's

The Edge of the American west site has found a great old 1920's cookbook on Google Books where you get great recipe's by people such as President Warren G "looked at the brother said damn what's next" Harding and other 1920's Politicians. It seems the book was about how men can cook and yet still be a man. You kind find a link to the Googlebook here

Double T's strange finds in the quarter bins

Crazy Man created by Neal Adams in the early 90's was one of the comics from Continuity Comics. Basic premise was Danny AKA Crazy Man was a insane man who when angry would Hulk up and become stronger and bulletproof. He is discovered by some old fuck that works for a shadowy black ops government group. On his first mission Danny manages to save the Old Fuck's daughter but at the same time pokes out her left eye. Sadly this series didn't last long. Volume 1 has 3 issues and Volume 2 has 4. Both runs are easy to find in the various cheap bins that litter comic shops all over the country.

Herb part 2

You know I don't think poor Herb even knew those two people....

Strangest cartoons 2 to 1

2.
Star Trek The Animated series.

This is the cartoon version of the classic Trek show during the period in-between the end of the original series and before they started making all those movies about old people in space. This show was reran on nickelodeon around 1986ish and it was pretty much the first Star Trek show I ever heard of and 3 year old me loved it (In fact it was a while till I found out that Star Trek was more than just a cartoon) . Oh I guess I could not really follow most of the plots but I liked that Spock and Bones always had blue shirts on and Kirk always had a oranage shirt. The show is strange because it seems to be for the most part forgotten from history but Im glad I saw it when so I knew who Sulu was at a very young age.

1.

Mork/ Mindy/ Fonzie/Laverne/Shirley/ army pig thing/pink dog show

Really WTF is this??? Some Mork and Mindy/Happy Days/ Laverne and Shirley thing!!! And they are in the army with a pig army guy! I think this just kind of speaks for itself.

Heathcliff and club music

"A new agreement between FitzRoy Media and Magic Lantern Ent. will find Heathcliff returning in various media ventures.

The joint venture was created to bring the iconic HEATHCLIFF brand into the 21st century with the development of animated and live-action programming for theatrical, television and direct-to-DVD releases worldwide. Targeting a broad adult, teen and tween audience, the new Heathcliff will focus on comedy set against a hip, club-music sound."

Becuase when you think Heathcliff you think club music.

Burger King herb ad's

In the mid-80's Burger King came up with a rather strange commercial campaign. It was based on making fun of some random made-up guy named Herb who has never been to Burger King. It seems that this fake American not going to Burger King meant that he needed to be mocked on nationwide TV.

Later Burger King send the actor that played Herb into various Burger King's and if a customer said something like "Hey your Herb dude" they got prizes. I like to think that The actor who played Herb was reluctant to give prizes and if a customer saw Herb in the middle of a Burger King Herb would start to run away and a chase inside that Burger King would follow. That last bit will always be the dream

X-men Forever

I read today that Chris Claremont is writing a new new biweekly Comic about his own version of X-Men where he left off in 1991 after he left the X-Men books after about 14 or 15 years. For some reason I find this very funny. I wonder if we will see pop culture references to MC Hammer and Twin Peaks and other things happening in 1991.

Links of the day

US and Cuba be talking??? here


Kimbo gets TUF here

Strangest cartoons 4 to 3

4. The new Scooby Doo movies
This show in the long running series of Scooby Doo shows is on the list because on every eposode of this series the show had special guests that helped out Scooby and the gang. Sometimes the guests were fellow fictional people like Batman and Robin but sometimes they were just animated versions of Mama Cass (no ham sandwich jokes people) and Sandy Duncan ( I know she was on the Hogan Family like ten years after the new Scooby Doo movies but I don't know what she did before then to be on this show).

Since we are on the topic of Scooby Doo I always wondered that since Scooby and Shaggy are such pussy's that they run into each other arm's when they hear the word "clue" why the hell are they even going around solving mysteries anyway? It is not like they have to do that by law. Im sure the two of they would like life much better if they just hung out at home and smoked up/ eat a few scooby snacks.

3.Beethoven.
Beethoven was the cartoon spinoff of the semi-popular movie about a Dog who was a St. Bernard who came to live with a family that included Charles Grodin and the nerdy kid from Step by Step. The cartoon also had Beethoven talk because I guess a cartoon dog who was the star of the show just barking would be kind of boring. And check out at the end when cartoon Charles Grodin get's all David from Alvin and the chipmunks with his "Beethoven!!!!!" oh that cartoon Charles Grodin will he ever win?

The history of Mac Tonight

In the 80's Macdonald's started to be open late at night and I guess the ad guys wanted a hip new mascot that would make going to a Macdonald's at nite feel like going to a old jazz lounge club with french fries. So the world met Mac Tonight a puppet yes but this cat would not fit in with Ronald and crew. First of all Mac liked to drink martinis with a little olive on the top. This messed with ronald's straight edge belief's . Also Ronald just knew that Mac would knock up birdy and the clown was not having any of that.

In the mid-90's Mac Tonight disappeared (much like funny Eddie Murphy movies). He showed up again in Macdonald's ad's in places like Thailand. (much like Gary Glitter)You can just imagine that in Thailand Mac lives on a diet of martinis, pill's and whores, and telling stories in bar's about how he used to smoke up with the grimace. We wish him well.

New York Times: Kids be hugging!

So the internets are a buzz over the New York Times ground breaking article on hugging in today's high schools.We learn about this shocking trend.

A measure of how rapidly the ritual is spreading is that some students complain of peer pressure to hug to fit in. And schools from Hillsdale,N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals toclass — have banned hugging or imposed a three-second rule

Wow if only Boston Public was still on they could of gone all special episode over this.

We also learn how the facebook has his dirty hands in this.

As much as hugging is a physical gesture, it has migrated online as well. Facebook applications allowing friends to send hugs have tens of thousands of fans. Katie Dea, the San Francisco eighth grader, as wellas Olivia Brown, 11, who lives in Manhattan and is the younger sister of Gabrielle, the LaGuardia High freshman, have a new sign-off for their text and e-mail messages: hug.

So Katie and Olivia have a new sign off message,see that is type of quality reporting you only get in broadsheets. Got to go now
Hug

Top ten strangest cartoons 6 to 5

6.

Kid 'N Play the cartoon. Once again just like "Hammerman" here we have a cartoon about pop music stars but unlike MC Hammer I do not really think that Kid 'N Play was this pop culture phenomenon that just needed to be made into a cartoon. I mean the House Party movies were popular but not really with the sturday morning demo. I think later I got a Kid N play cassette with two proofs of purchase from Apple Jacks or something (hey I eat what I like!).

5.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was based on a low budget movie from the late 70's and when they showed a clip of the movie on Muppet Babies (always the place to go to find indy movies) somehow the makers of the first film got funded to make another movie and later a saturday morning cartoon ( Yeah I read it on Wikipedia).

Unlike most of the cartoons on this list this was a pretty cool show. It was witty and it was about killer tomatoes.

Top ten strangest saturday morning cartoon's 8 to 7

8.

Hammerman. Hammerman was a show where MC Hammer plays a Super-Hero guy called Hammerman. At the time MC Hammer was in his "Can't touch this" glory so by 1991 logic that means he had to have a saturday morning cartoon. Hammer explaing the plot of the show seems to take about 30 minutes itself "So Gramp opened up the bag and then he put on Matlock!.. and he ripped of the tag! so then he took the shoes out the..." The show just lasted a year and after raping about how the Adams family are cool he was soon out of style and was pretening to be gangsta talking about how he likes the bumps in the dump or the thump in the bump or something.

7.

ProStars. This NBC saturday morning cartoon was about the secert super-hero antics about three then current sports stars. Michael Jordon the most famous NBA player of all time who still takes the time to catch up with his Space Jam buddies thanks to MCI (I belive I can call), Wayne Gretsky one of the most famous NHL players of all time (This means he is on a simlar level of fame as Buddy from Charles in Charge)and Bo Jackson..... the guy who did two sports and really braged about it a lot.Yes looking back having Bo Jackson on the show makes him look out of place, I mean he is best known for commericals , it would be like if Michael Jordon was best known for selling underwear.

What to watch on tv from 3:35 am to 3:55 am

3:35 I see on public access some arab guy singing karoke
3:37 Wow Adult Swim is showing a reun of Family Guy! they hardly ever do that
3:41 CBS is showing Collon Powell diss Rush
3:42 okay so now a Indian women is singing in indian about Jesus. I guess the arab guy was also Indian and not arab I r sorry
3:44 The Josie and the Pussycats movie is on USA. I still do not know why they felt the need to make a movie based on a not that popular 1970's cartoon in 2001
3:46 Book TV on C-span 2 everybody loves Book Tv!!
3:48 On Nicktoons a post Jon K Ren and Stimpy ep. The kind that nobody ever talks about
3:51 Winger "she only 17" on VH1Classic. This song may or may not be about rape depending on what state you live in.
3:53" There was a Get Smart movie with Steve Carell last year? I guess so
3:55 Now on public accsess a bunch of Indian people are singing with bongos maybe singing about Jesus I do not know.

Top Ten strangest cartoons 10 to 9

In the 70’s 80’s and 90’s it seemed like just about any entertainment property could get it’s own cartoon series. If you were a movie you could be a cartoon and if you were a cartoon you could be on a cereal box etc. From this sort of cartoon/cereal military/industrial complex we got some strange cartoons. here is a list of ten of them because this is what the internet really needs.. it needs more lists.

10.

Free Willy: This was a Saturday morning cartoon based on the movie about a kid who wanted to make a whale named willy free or something. In the cartoon the whale who is free by this point still chooses to hang out with this kid for some reason (maybe he never wanted to be free) And the music is really bad “oh willy as long as you are free willy”. Another factor in strangeness of this choice is it is called “Free Willy” yet willy is clearly free it would be like if people followed Nelson Mandela around after he was let out of jail and sung “Free Nelson Mandela”

9.

It’s Punky Brewster. Punky Brewster was the story of a young homeless girl who liked to dress in purple and moved in with the old guy from the Police Academy movies. Kids’s loved the show so one day God (or maybe someone else) ordered that a cartoon version should be made. On the cartoon Punky had some sort of magic animal thing named glomer. A lot of “sitcom to cartoon”
shows like this had random magic animal things like they are thinking “okay so let’s have a… Threes Company cartoon …… with a turtle that can go to the future when he dances.”

hat tip to http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3ib5e9d934e920f54944cc6f31478908aa

Michael Eisner and his Tornante Co. have tapped newcomer Mark Hammer to pen a feature adaptation of "Bazooka Joe," the comic strip that comes with Bazooka bubble gum.

The world was really waiting for this.

The intro to the final season of Happy Days

Look how dead everyone's soul looks like at this point. I know that I am supposed to want TV shows to end before they lose their "dignity" but it is fun to see a show come back year after year, and see old cast members leave and have new cast members come in that nobody remembers.

After Ron Howard and Donny Most left the show Anson Williams who played Potsie stayed on the show but without the characters two friends he really had nothing to do. For about the last four years of the show Potsie would come into a room and say something dumb and then one of the other character's would says he is dumb and then Potsie would leave broken hearted and nostalgic for another era.

Mr T cereal

Mr T cereal is most known to the world as the ceral Pee Wee Herman eats in Pee Wee's Big Adventure "I pity the fool that does not like my cereal!". The cereal was part of the massive 1980's Mr T empire that existed for some unknown reason. I remember as a small child not really being sure about what Mr T even was. He was a cartoon and yet a real person, but his actor name was also Mr.T I must of though that he had this fame because the was the toughest person in the world (this may still be true).

Look how laid back Mr T is in that ad. He just says "it's cool" and allows the commercial jingle people to sing about the greatness of his cereal.

DC Comics was ahead of the times.

When you think Women's lib think a woman tied up and gagged, and some random attack dogs. What would Andrea Dworkin think?

Kari Ferrell post part 2 (The Secret of the Ooze)

So I read in the New York Observer That the now jailed lying pixie Kari Ferrell told another fibe at her court hearing.

"She said she was 22 years old and said she had a bachelor's degree in music from the University of Utah. (Several sources had previously told The Observer that Ms. Ferrell does not in fact have a degree. After her hearing, The Observer called the University of Utah's transcripts department, which told us that no one by the name of Kari Ferrell or Farrell had ever been enrolled.)"

What is the point of lying about having a degree in music from a place in Utah ?(insert lame Osmond joke)Does she think that thinking she has a degree in music will make the Judge think she is super cool? Or maybe this is part of a deeper, darker, evil plan that needs people to think she has that degree to get the ball rolling.

'American Gladiators': The Movie?

Grappling TV game show American Gladiators is heading to the big screen, in
a new live action movie.

The show, in which members of the public take on muscle-bound gladiators in
a series of events, debuted in the U.S. in 1988 and has since appeared in
more than 90 countries.

Creator Johnny Ferraro, who claims he first conceived the idea as a movie,
is now fulfilling his ambition with the help of 300 producer Scott Mesnick.

Mesnick tells Daily Variety, "I look forward to creating a compelling story
that launches a whole new set of characters."

American Gladiators is like a game show. This would be like making a movie based on the Price is Right or Wheel of Fortune.

What is on TV when it is 4 AM and you can not sleep

4:18 Reno 911 is on channel 11 at 4 am? what a great timeslot!
4:20 (lol Weed) Hey Roseanne is on will those two crazy kid's Jackie and Fred work it out? Spoiler no!
4:23 NBA Playoffs Lakers vs The Rockets game 3. I'm guessing this is taped because NBA games rarely take place at 4:24 AM
4:25 VH1 top 20 video countdown? VH1 is showing music now? I though Vh1 was about reality shows and spinoffs of said shows and spinoffs of said shows that are spinoffs. Also who the hell is Carolina Liar?
4:28 Sesame Street on PBSkids. Becuase sometimes when it is 4:28 you just want to watch Sesame Street. Fuck I hate that bear dude Telly should fuck him up
4:31 VH1classic Whitesnake

4:33 HBOW Bad Boys You know out of the two stars in this movie I think Will Smith has made better carrier choices.

Me and the "Hipster Grifter"

I want to spend a minute or so wasting time giving the world yet another blog post about Kari Ferrel aka the "hipster grifter". The first day or so after the story about her in the New York Observer came out
and she become the biggest internet sensation since that video of the drugged up 7 year old on youtube, I noticed that she was returning Emails from random people. Just out of fun I wrote her something like "Hey I support u in u struggles" or something lame like that and two hours the little lying pixie wrote back

"Hey,


Thank you for your kind words. I've got to say, much to my surprise, every email that I have received has been in the same vein as yours.


I have no idea why people are "idolizing" me, because they have absolutely no reason to do so. My actions were deplorable, and I have been working for several months to rectify them.


Regardless, I really appreciate your support. Do you have any advice for me? Does it involve a tropical resort and mass quantities of chocolate?


Would you mind telling me why you
you are backing me? I don't believe that I am as terrible of a person as they make me sound, but when people read things of that nature they generally don't support the criminal.


Thank you, again.


-Kari


P.S.- Though I highly doubt it, if a book deal comes out of this--I will make sure to thank you."

Well it seems that after this she went back to pretending to have cancer and later was sold out to the cops by a some dude in a band that seemed to do it for ironic reasons but I hope just for a minute that my words helped that sweet sociopath find peace. That is when she is in a Utah jail acting like Ryan o'Reilly from Oz.

About the title of this blog

A long time ago in a period known as the early 90's there was a commercial for a board game called "Guess who?" in which the game cards talked. This made some kids think that the game cards talked in real life for a yet to be explained reason. The parents of those disenfranchised kids went to media and a firestorm (not the DC Superhero guy) started that was a media scandal on a level in between the Milli Vanilli's lip-synching allegations and the "Fatty" Arbuckle trial (okay maybe not but it made the newswires)

So in response they added a "Game cards do not actually talk" disclaimer as to not disappoint the fragile minds of early Gen Y kids.



The only thing I do not understand is why this Connect Four ad did not have to say at the end "Checkers do not actually turn into cartoons"?

Welcome to "Game Cards do not actually talk"

This blog will be about late 80's/ 90's pop culture or maybe politics or maybe MMA or maybe sports or maybe Comics or maybe any random crap I think of.